


Constellate (an official Arashi song fic)

by oviparous



Series: Official Arashi Fan-fiction [4]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 04:33:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10779651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oviparous/pseuds/oviparous
Summary: Arashi and their management are the forerunners of 'official fan-fiction', fiction which the boys write themselves to feed their fans' wildest desires. This episode is about Nino, Aiba and Ohno writing a song!fic that talks about a fictional version of what happened between Sho and Jun at Waku Waku Gakkou.





	Constellate (an official Arashi song fic)

**Author's Note:**

> This is crack. Pure crack. This entire series is crack. I promise. Also, in my head they write in Japanese, so the rhyming pattern is quite haphazard.

To: **Head Manager**  
From: **Ninomiya Kazunari**  
CC: **Ohno Satoshi, Aiba Masaki**  
  
Subject: **Re: Song!fic**  
  
Hello. Not sure if the title you've chosen is appropriate (I still like _'What if there was actually a stupid plan'_ ), but Aiba-shi, Ohno-san and I made some tweaks after your edit. If you're cool with this version we should start recording ASAP.  
  
Ninomiya  
  
***  
  
_Constellate_  
  
**Lyrics, Vocals:** Aiba Masaki, Ninomiya Kazunari, Ohno Satoshi  
**Composed by:** Ninomiya Kazunari  
**Arranged by:** Ninomiya Kazunari, Ohno Satoshi  
**Harmonica solo:** Aiba Masaki

  
June 25th in Waku Waku Tokyo  
Sho and Jun did this lesson on stars and stuff  
It became this weird internet sensation  
This is the story of how it caught our attention.  
  
Right at the beginning of it all  
Sho and Jun were whispering in the greenroom  
Said something about Twitter and fodder  
No one heard those words but our darling Leader  
  
So Leader came and told us  
**(OHNO)** 'I think Sho and Jun want to be Internet famous'  
  
And we laughed and laughed  
And laughed and laughed  
We're Arashi, we don't need the internet  
But we understand you guys are all about that  
  
Hey, Sho/Jun  
Hey, Sho/Jun  
Why is it Sho/Jun  
Why isn't it Jun/Sho  
We don't know  
This trio don't know  
  
If you haven't already read on Twitter  
Jun was chosen to be in Sho's romantic stargazing class  
We'll never know if the thing was rigged but anyway  
Back to the lesson on stars and stuff  
  
Of course they didn't just jump into the topic  
No, no, they had to talk a bit about crabs  
Not the STD; the sign of Cancer.  
...Not cancer cancer, but whatever  
  
And we shook our heads  
Right there, backstage  
Don't get us wrong, we love them to bits  
But honestly, they sounded like twits ( **NINOMIYA:** and you guys definitely bought into it)  
  
Hey, Sho/Jun  
Hey, Sho/Jun  
Why is it Sho/Jun  
Why isn't it Jun/Sho  
We don't know  
This trio don't know  
  
When Sho proclaimed he'd save Jun like them brave crabs  
the fans went wild, Sho and Jun saw their chance  
We realised everything up till then was a feint  
when Sho said: 'Matsujun, like the stars, we should cover each other,  
then break apart. That's how we can shine even brighter'  
  
**(OHNO)** COVER EACH OTHER ( **AIBA/NINOMIYA:** COVER EACH OTHER)  
**(OHNO)** COVER EACH OTHER ( **AIBA/NINOMIYA:** WHUUUUT)  
  
They dropped more innuendo and Jun casually mentioned  
that the internet will be on fire tonight  
Sho smugly said he's hoping for hashtags -  
( **AIBA:** I'm looking at you, Yahoo!) he's been proven right  
  
Oh, don't you guys know  
Sho and Jun had a plan from the get-go  
If they ever were paired in public they would try  
To get you high  
With THOUGHTS OF SEX SEX SEX  
Between your OTP ( **OHNO:** OTP)  
  
Hey, Jun/Sho  
Hey, Jun/Sho  
We wanted to hear how it sounds like, 'Jun/Sho'  
But it doesn't matter in the end, 'cause  
SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX  
  
**(INTERLUDE: HARMONICA SOLO)**  
  
**(OHNO SOLO)** Stars have sex  
We have sex  
Sho and Jun ~~pretend to~~ have sex ( **OHNO:** SEX... SEX... SEX...)  
Like stars that shine so bright, oh  
  
The internet's burning ( **NINOMIYA:** burning)  
The hashtags, skyrocketing ( **NINOMIYA:** skyrocketing)  
And Sho/Jun are staring at their smartphones, smiling ( **NINOMIYA:** like twits)  
  
**(A CAPPELLA)** And the rest of us wonder  
Why we're not shipped  
Like Sho/Jun  
Like Jun/Sho  
We don't know  
This trio don't know...

**Author's Note:**

> There's more to come, just give me some time. LOL.


End file.
